Let’s talk about guides. Or angels, or spirits, or whatever term you like best. Basically, today we’ll be discussing non-physical beings, specifically the ones who are there for/connected to you. I’m going to tell you the story of how I met my first one: Addie.
So there I was, wandering through the housewares aisle of my local Goodwill. I love old candle holders (especially wall-mounted, Victorian-type ones), and that’s a great place to find them for super cheap. Anyway, I was just sort of doing my thing when, suddenly, I felt this “tug” off to my left. I looked over, and there was this little vase sitting on the shelf. Now, this was not a fancy, ornate, expensive vase. This was the sort of little vase they give you free when you order flowers. It’s about 6″ tall, with a slightly flared top and a base that reminded me of a little round belly. There was something about it that just felt so friendly, though, so I had to pick it up. Once I did, I couldn’t set it down. There was so much happy, excited, life-force energy all over it, that it felt as if it were physically vibrating under my fingers. I feel residual energy on objects all the time, but this was so much more strong and alive than the residual emotions people leave on things. I walked around with it clutched in my hand for another 20 minutes before leaving the store. Yes, I had a cart with plenty of room in it, but like I said, I couldn’t bring myself to set it down. I had something special and I was hanging onto it!
Then the jar sat on my shelf for a couple of weeks. It made me happy to have it around, but I didn’t really know what else to do with it. However, it was suggested that I start meditating and, since the jar obviously had something extra going on, I was going to try meditating with the jar.
Now, I had no idea what I was doing or what might happen, so I lit a bunch of candles in my room (again, because I love candles), and laid down on my bed with the vase in my hands. I rested it on my chest, right on my heart chakra/energy point/other term you like. The vase did its happy little energy sparkling for a minute or two, and then something unexpected happened.
My chest went numb. That whole chakra area was suddenly swept by a wave of complete numbness. I hadn’t expected that, and it definitely freaked me out a bit, but I had never felt anything even close to malice from the vase, so I was able to hang in there and just trust that this wasn’t going to hurt me.
Then I started feeling this rubber band “pulling” motion between my chest and the vase. I say rubber band because it was a powerful flexing, stretch-and-relax motion. It felt like every stretch went further and further, but with each relaxing motion the bond that was being established became stronger. Finally, it settled a bit and I got the sense that the initial connection had been made. Not knowing what else to do, I simply thought:
Aaaaaand then every candle in my room flared so brightly that the insides of my eyelids went white. Now that freaked me out a little bit. Or a lot bit. It was exciting because I hadn’t expected any sort of sign affecting the physical world, but let me tell you, every hair on the back of my neck was standing as straight up as was humanly possible. As the candles flared, I suddenly had a vision of a deep blue nebula dotted with stars. As I looked as it, a being floated into view. I want to do a decent drawing of her to post here later (instead of my madly scribbled sketch that doesn’t do her justice at all, though that may have to do for now), but I’ll do my best to describe her:
She was wearing an elaborate headdress with a curved top, that looked to be made of a material like wicker or wood. She had on a long blue robe with red trim and white lining. I couldn’t see her hands or feet, but the robe flowed and moved very dynamically, despite the fact that she was gliding relatively slowly. Her face was painted pure white, except for two red rectangles underneath her eyes, and small, red-painted lips. She looked slightly harlequin and/or geisha-esque. Her eyes were also completely black, which sounds scary but wasn’t. They were full of twinkling expression, not dead like a shark’s eyes. My mom later pointed out that her eyes were like a rat’s, which makes sense because I have two pet rats and I can confirm that, though their eyes are also fully black, they can convey a tremendous amount of intelligence and personality. Also, see madly scribbled sketch below:
Anyway, then I felt the chest connection soften and fade a bit. The appearance seemed to have been a sort of “Hello, I’m here!” affirmation. So, that was the end of that first visit.
I did the same thing again the next night, this time hoping for a name and maybe even some direct communication. The same rubber band heart thing happened, and then there she was! I asked her what her name was and, after a jumble of emotions, she started spelling out letters in front of me. I could tell that medium of communication was hard for her, so the letters kept wobbling and shifting, but finally she spelled out: A-D-E-Y-E-M-I. Adeyemi. I had no idea what that meant, but when I looked it up later I found it’s an female African name which means “The crown fits me.” This felt personal because I’ve been told that by multiple people that “Queen” is my archetype or that I carry myself with a lot of, I guess, “queenliness.” I think that how beings choose to appear to you or what they tell you their name is has a lot to do with how it’ll make sense to you. That felt like a little nod to me and I appreciated it.
I quickly realized that Addie (the nickname she got extra excited about) talks in feelings. To this day, she has never spoken a single word to me. However, she communicates all the time via these jumbles of feelings and colors. This was a bit difficult at first, because I had to focus on what feelings were attached to the concepts I was trying to ask her about in words. My first communications were very question-heavy. I’ve since learned to just relax and listen, which makes things much easier. Addie was perfectly happy to do her best to answer me, but frankly I didn’t have the vocabulary in this language to understand much of the answers. Also, Addie is an incredibly high-energy, excited being, so she feel-talked really fast and enthusiastically, which meant I’d only understand snippets.
That first meeting is the only time I’ve ever seen her calm, still, or dignified. My mom jokes that Addie is short of Adderall, haha! It’s also the only time she hasn’t had a huge grin plastered across her face. She feels very spritely, and very young (in the grand scheme of things, and compared to the others). Maybe one of them told her to be on her best behavior or something for that first introduction. Who knows, but it’s hilarious to think about! I will point out that I did ask what basically translates to “why me?” in that second meeting (ie “Why did you choose to communicate with me” (remember my vocabulary was limited)), and she responded with what I was best able to translate as “open heart.” This actually made a lot of sense, since I took that to mean that, since I’m an Empath and already better versed in the language of emotions (my own and other peoples’) I might have an easier time with this whole talking in feelings and colors business.
The relationship has since developed (thanks in part to other beings I’ll discuss soon) to the point where the vase is a tool, but I don’t need it to contact her anymore. I feel her around me all the time, and as such one of us can reach out to the other whenever we want. I think the vase was much more for my benefit than hers, because it was a physical object that was covered with her energy for me to focus on. Communication is much easier too, because the lines between us are much more blurred, so we can know things from each other in real time, if that makes any sense. As I said, things got much easier when I learned to just relax and be open to whatever they wanted to say or show me, rather than having my metaphorical clipboard ready.
This was the way that worked for her to get my attention, but there are infinite possibilities here for how your special guide beings can reach out to you or how you can reach out to them. Mine have always been here with me and I’ve always felt them on some level, but I’ve just recently become highly aware of them to the point of direct communication.
So that’s the story of Addie and the Magic Vase from the Goodwill that wasn’t really magic but that had a nice ring to it. Nothing about our relationship is stiff or formal, which just feels so right to me. I love my guys and appreciate them and am in awe of them, but it’s much more like a close, loving friendship than the stiffer depictions of angels or guides we often see. All mine have very distinct personalities too, contrary to the typical depiction of angels as this sort of pretty, uniform lot that flap around playing harps and being important. As you’ll see, too, none of mine chose forms that are anything like what you’d expect. So, if something appears to you in a super bizarre form, that’s okay! Frankly, I think they have fun choosing unique shapes, especially since incarnated humans are confined to a single form. Just pay attention to how that being feels, because I firmly believe you can’t hide that. If they feel loving or joyful or like something you want to be around, you’ll be just fine.
This is a super involved, complicated topic, and what I’ve just shared is only a tiny corner of one type of my experiences with one specific being. If you have anything from your own life you’d like to add, please do!